Until my wife’s 36th week of pregnancy, we did not even know what a ‘doula’ was. However, at our final NCT class, a minor mention was made of doulas and the perceived benefits they bring in terms of pain relief. This struck a chord as I guess like most first time parents, there was quite a fear of the whole birth process and my wife was particularly anxious regarding how painful things could be.

Despite it being late in the day, we quickly undertook some ‘google’ research and everything seemed to suggest that this would be a very good move. There was no real downside and we felt that even if we did not get much benefit, so what !! It was worth a go and at worst, we might just feel after the birth that it was all a bit unnecessary and we could have saved some money.

We contacted Rachel after reading other testimonials on her website. As it was late in the day, she came round to see us the following day so both parties could work out of this would be a good idea. A rapport was struck up quickly and as soon as she had left, my wife and I felt confident enough to say that a doula was a great idea and that Rachel would be an ideal choice.

Little did we know how Rachel would become an integral part of what was to be a harrowing birth but with a very successful ending.

When we met Rachel, she introduced a whole host of ideas to us and without ever telling us what to do, our views changed completely as to what we wanted. We had expected to have a hospital birth with maximum pain relief. Home births were for others !!! However, we listened to some of Rachel’s ideas and then conducted a lot of evidence based research on the internet. Our eyes were really opened and we decided that a home birth with a doula would give my wife the very best birth experience and just as importantly, it would give our baby the best start when she entered this world.

We quickly put our plans in place and our community midwife was very supportive of a homebirth despite making the decision just before week 37. Everything was put into place and Rachel completed her very helpful ante-natal class.

And then the fun (!!!) started as my wife’s waters broke before she went into labour which increases the chance of infection. This was after 38.5 weeks and we were quickly put under pressure by the hospital to come in for an induction and not to have a home birth. Rachel was on a constant source of support and expertise throughout this as she was constantly available to advise and provide us with information. She has some great contacts when she does not know the answer but more often than not, she helped guide us to the right information. Again, she did not tell us what to do but always acted as a sounding machine to help provide clarity as to what the best decision was. She was providing links to helpful research available on the internet. It must be pointed out that the NHS can be so rigid and they try to take you down their rigid path with no real thought as to mother’s wishes.

To cut a long story short, our planned homebirth in a large birthing pool in our lounge in a calm tranquil atmosphere turned into a 79 hour labour, induction due to baby having some difficulties, our babies heartbeat dropping dramatically and hence requirement of full hospital crash team before when we thought we were through everything, just as my wife was about to push, they discovered at the last second that baby was breech and only way to get it out was an emergency C-section.

It was the most traumatic 3.5 days of our lives yet Rachel became an integral part of it. Initially it was as a constant source of support over the phone. Then as we were under pressure for induction, she came round to do some acupuncture to see if we could kick start the labour a bit. Then at 1.15am when my wife was moved to delivery ward, I phoned her and she raced to hospital arriving at 1.30am on a Monday morning.

She then never left my wife or I throughout what was a very difficult labour. When things looked like they were going very wrong and the alarms were sounded with the crash team, the hospital staff completely ignored my wife and I despite the fact that we were petrified as they were concentrating on assessing our baby. Rachel headed straight for us to calm us and explain what was going on.

She was always trying to melt into the background whilst every time she perceived that her presence would help, she jumped in to help. She explained things whenever necessary. When it was discovered that we had a breech baby at 9cm dilated and after 79 hours, my wife was totally exhausted, she was able to persuade hospital staff that she be allowed to join me in the Operating Theatre to support us. I was struggling emotionally at this stage but again she was constantly supporting us.

If Rachel had done nothing to that point, the simple thing that she did next in the recovery room would have made hiring her services worth it. Ellie was out of it on epidural/diamorphine and would remain so for some time. Rachel saw that our little girl, Emily, was looking to feed straightaway. I had no idea about this and Ellie was on a different planet !! Rachel carefully got Emily and started her breastfeeding. She then came with us to maternity ward and carried on keeping the breastfeeding going. Despite the NHS support for breastfeeding, we found that the staff didn’t really know what to do or provide any real support. So with Ellie being so drugged up, if Rachel had not been there, we may have missed the opportunity. Indeed, over next few days at hospital, Ellie continued feeding but struggled and whilst some staff were willing, we got impression that they did not really know what they were saying. Rachel returned to the hospital and just a short period of going over everything with Ellie ensured that the brilliant start she gave us has continued so some 3 weeks later. As I write, we have had no feeding issues at all and Emily is piling on the weight and is a really well baby.

Whilst we did not engage Rachel for post natal services as we had a mass of family support, she visited a week after and again was the source of much invaluable advice (plus some lovely home baked cakes!).

We have learnt so much over the past month as it has been the most frightening and ultimately the most rewarding time of our lives. There can be no doubt that the saying that every labour is different is so true.

So, would we recommend Rachel in particular and would we recommend doulas in general. The answer is an unhesitating ‘yes’ as whilst there is an element of financial commitment, we felt ultimately that it was a price worth paying if that helped Ellie through the birth process and if it helped Emily have the best start in life.

We are first time parents and the support and expertise we got from Rachel throughout was first class. We had a very difficult time and her support was unswerving. Whilst as a ‘doula’ Rachel will make it very clear that she is not there to act as a midwife, there can be little doubt that she has a great deal of expertise which becomes invaluable.

One of our concerns at the outset would be that some midwives might react against the fact that we had a ‘doula’. This could not have been further from the truth partly because of Rachel’s kind nature but also due to the fact that she always knew when to get involved and when not to. The hospital staff made some very complimentary remarks about Rachel.

And finally, perhaps an overlooked thing about the whole reasoning behind using a ‘doula’ is what it can do for the Dad. If you are a soon to be father and you are doing the research like I did as you want to help your partner have the best experience, quite simply I would say, don’t think about the money as I cannot even begin to put a value on support we got from Rachel during the whole harrowing process and the fact that she got Emily breastfeeding despite Ellie being drugged to high heaven.

And if nothing else, she bakes exceedingly nice cakes !!