Home Labour, Hospital Delivery
Rob from Harrogate, first time dad to Woody born October 2009
Having Rachel for the birth was fantastic because no matter how many classes you go to or books you read or people you speak to nothing can quite prepare you for what you are going to go through mentally and physically at the birth.
She was a constant source of reference for me and the encouragement and advice she gave was just what I needed for reassurance and confidence which I could then use to comfort and reassure Kate.
You see a completely new side to your wife or partner at childbirth from fear to excitement, anxiety to relief, levels of self doubt and belief you've never seen before. Rachel helps to guide you through these emotions and ultimately reach the right decisions for both you and your wife. She doesn't force opinion or tell you what's right or wrong but puts options in front of you and backs you 100% whatever you choose.
For us she was very much in the background for the first parts of the labour as we were doing so well ourselves. She didn't impose herself at all and kept out of the way in the kitchen. Her only real involvement was when we decided it was right to call the midwife. Something we would, I'm sure, have done far too early if she wasn't there.
When we progressed into the later stages she was brilliant at keeping the midwives under control and ultimately on our side. We would have been taken to the hospital a lot earlier than was needed if Rachel hadn't been there to make sure our wishes were heard.
She helped us make the right decision as to when to go into hospital. We gave things the best possible chance to have our baby at home but had to go into hospital for the last bit. Rachel was a great sounding board to help us make that decision.
Once at the hospital I was a bag of nerves and while Kate had to be made ready for the theatre I was not allowed to stay with her. Rachel stuck with me and helped me re-focus by explaining exactly what was going on. By the time we joined Kate for the last bit I was ready to support her again.
Everyone from parents, family members, friends and strangers has an opinion about childbirth and what is the best way of doing things and the right way of looking after the baby. In the whole these opinions are based on personal experiences and not any real science. A Doula gives you real facts and figures and highlights real options. The best way for having and raising a baby is really the best way for the parents and how it works best for their beliefs, lifestyles and situation. Rachel respects our decisions on parenting and offers great support to Kate on how to handle the questions that inevitably come. She is always ready to chat on the phone or come around and offer support that is not filled with emotion or experiences that often friends and family have.
Rachel's support through the whole period has been fantastic and really helped us both enjoy and cherish bringing Woody into the world. She supported us through the challenges and cheered us on all the way. I can't recommend her enough.
Jamie from Halifax, first time dad to Rory, born November 2009
What a Doula meant to me as a father
The role of a male partner during pregnancy and labour can be fraught with tension and fear simply because the easy perception to make is that it is all, about the mother and child, and you aren't supposed to be weak or vulnerable, but strong, calm and 'there'. You feel unable to ask what might be seen as 'silly' questions, you certainly don't feel you can offload any worries onto the mother's bulging 'to do' list.
However, simply the act of us meeting with Rachel in the beginning took away a lot of the fear and doubt, and enabled me to discuss with Anne-Marie, much more meaningfully, the details of the journey we were about to undertake. Certainly, I was able to confidently back up Anne-Marie's wishes and requirements in an increasingly pressurised ante-natal environment.
We got the natural, serene birth we had hoped for, and I truly believe that our Doula, Rachel, had a direct impact on this. She was always available to answer questions and for impartial advice, and her voice was heard whenever we calmly and quietly stuck to our guns. As a result, due to the fact that the birth happened so quickly and we weren't able to call her in time to be there, we felt she was still a steady, calming presence in the birth suite.
So, my advice to any fathers to be out there...a Doula isn't 'just for the mother and child'...a Doula is also for YOU.
My experience - Anne-Marie Draycott
As we were expecting our first baby and as we'd encountered negativity from our midwife in London about having a home birth, Jamie (my husband) and I decided to look into options that would support our decision for a home birth and also supply me with some much-needed female guidance and advice before, during and after the birth.
As it happened, when we moved to Halifax, the community midwives were much more supportive about our decision to opt for home birth, but it was still incredibly beneficial to have Rachel on board as she was able to give us lots of one-on-one advice and information during the weeks leading up to the birth.
However, where Rachel helped out the most, was when we encountered problems towards the end of my pregnancy. My waters broke two days before my due date and once I'd informed the Trust about this, I was told I had 24 hours before I would be admitted to hospital and induced. From the start of our pregnancy Jamie and I were completely against any unnecessary intervention as we were aware it can lead to a cascade of further medical intervention and, unless it was an emergency, we wanted a natural birth, preferably at home. Over the course of the next 6 days we were under mounting pressure to submit to an induction and the language and attitude of some of the medical staff gradually became more pressing and bordered on aggressive (one doctor told me I was risking the death of our child and another consultant flippantly referred to our choice for a home birth as a party'!)
However over those 6 days Rachel was invaluable in supporting us - she never told us what to do but she gave us information and put us in touch with people and organisations who could reliably counter what we were being told by the hospital. As a result, we were armed with professional information that allowed us to make an informed choice when dealing with the hospital.
As it turned out, I went into hospital 6 days later to sort out a bladder issue that was starting to cause a complication with the pregnancy and once that had been resolved, I was examined and told I was 10cm dilated! Jamie could even see the baby's head! So as the baby was ready to be born, I agreed to be whisked off (although it was more of a shuffle down the corridor) to a delivery room and Rory was born 1.5 hours later!
Although we didn't get our home birth (and the last minute shuffle to the delivery room meant we didn't have time to call Rachel to attend) we were absolutely delighted with the end result - a natural, pain-relief free birth, that wasn't unnecessarily induced - which gave us our beautiful baby boy. I don't think that would have been possible without Rachel's support as I'm pretty sure I would have caved in to the hospital's demands for earlier induction (which as it turned out, there was absolutely no need for!)
As she couldn't make the birth, Rachel also gave us an additional post-natal session, which was great as it allowed me to work through some worries which had arisen post-birth and once again she was a fabulous support and incredible source of knowledge.
I would highly recommend hiring a Doula to anyone that feels they may need some additional support during their pregnancy.
Cara from California, via Leeds, first time mum to Donovan, born July 2010
Rachel was our Doula for my pregnancy and the birth of our son in July 2010. I credit her with a lot of things, but I just want to start out saying that I think it was because I had a Doula, and also because it was Rachel, that I was able to avoid a cesarean. This is priceless to me. A cesarean is a life saving operation, and I would gladly have one if needed, but I think Rachel helped me avoid an unnecessary one, and I am so happy that I was able to have my baby and get on with the easier recovery of a vaginal birth.
Rachel was a great Doula. She was present for my 48 hour labor and delivery, as well as available constantly in the days leading up to it, and the days following. I delivered at 43 weeks, so this was quite a lot of availability!
Aside from that though Rachel was so great in the pre and post natal periods. I feel safest when I intellectualize things and Rachel recognized this and lent me countless books and directed me to amazing websites and other kinds of written resources. She also, without pressure, introduced me to the idea of home birth, and invited me to the Home Birth Group in Horsforth. The prospect of a home birth took a while to sink in, but soon we restructured our whole lives around it, including moving home to a place I felt was better to have a baby in. Although we ended up transferring in to the hospital in the end, the preparation for a home birth was invaluable, and we never would have done it without Rachel. We love our baby friendly home, we LOVED our home labor, and we loved feeling informed and in control of the process. I have no regrets about my birth, enjoyed the whole experience, and am already eagerly planning in my mind my next pregnancy and home birth.
Rachel introduced me to so many new things, and helped me explore things I was only peripherally aware of before- such as slings and cloth nappies. Rachel was not only an amazing Doula, but a great friend, and I'm so happy she was a part of my son's birth experience (extravaganza?).
Cara Shank
PS Oh my god, and also, this may sound weird, but Rachel also took the most awesome photo of my/Donovan's placenta! I had been obsessing over it for weeks, so curious about what it would look like, but didn't have a chance to see it in the moment of my son's birth. Much to my excitement, when going through my photos, she had snapped a photo! I treasure it.