As soon as I met my Doula Emma Tomlinson after finding out I was pregnant with my first child, I knew she was right for us. I had a lot of concerns about my privacy and dignity and Emma struck me immediately as an unobtrusive, gentle, respectful person. She was incredibly thoughtful from day one and brought me little cut outs from magazines or lent me books to help strengthen my confidence in my choice of birth and after. She also brought me her homemade banana cake, which won my husband Mark over quickly too!
Having a Doula was something new to us, none of our friends had heard of a Doula, we had first been strongly recommended by my cousin in Canada who swore by the loving support of a Doula and what a difference it made to her.
Emma came out of choice to lots of my midwife meetings and we got really close, talking about everything and anything!
By the time of my birth I text Emma shortly after my waters broke, I told her I was ok and she didn't need to come out yet, but she wanted me to know she would be there in minutes as soon as I wanted her there. My husband and I had a pretty good day! We walked the dog and watched a DVD with me balanced on my birthing ball, we used hypno birthing so the whole experience was very relaxed and calm. We called Emma to come when I experienced transition. Me, Mark, Emma and my midwife, Katie, all sat in the downstairs lounge-me in the pool, fairy lights round the windows, candles lit and Ray LaMontagne playing in between the hypno birthing cd! Our little black lab Indie wasn't too sure about the whole thing and Emma played with her, topped up my birthing pool, stroked my hair when Mark popped to the loo, brought drinks, and just generally supported us. As I knew her so well and felt so comfortable I didn't feel I needed to make a fuss when she arrived, she knew where everything was and looked after herself….and us!
After an active labour of 3 _ hours Jude was born at 6.55pm in perfect peace, in water, in a cosy dimly lit room in our home with two fabulous women, my incredible supportive wonderful husband! No fuss, just a great deal of love and support. Emma bought me lots of chocolate biscuits and jam and toast to get my energy back! She and Katie helped to tidy the room and helped the three of us into bed, to order pizza and call the world with the news of our new baby boy!
I put my simple manageable labour and my amazing day down to being given the confidence in myself that I could do it.
Emma's support continued afterwards with a beautiful gift to Jude, we talked through the labour and she made me feel very special and proud! We are still friends now and I often call her for advice or to talk through any worries I have.
Any woman who chooses the route of a Doula is already giving an incredible gift to women in pregnancy, labour and after, they are like guardian angels, giving you support, quietly working in the background, wonderfully, selfless guardian angels, giving your partner and yourself, the space you need, or if alone the unwavering support of a birthing partner.