I can't imagine what I would have done without Rachel Cline my doula from Mother Nurture Doula's. She helped Neil and I through every stage of Ivor's birth. The main reason I approached Rachel was because Neil had "Pregnantwomanophobia". He was so squeamish he couldn't even look at my bump or my scans so I knew it was unfair to expect him to support me through the birth on his own. What I hadn't realised was how helpful a doula would be prior to and post birth.
Antenatally Rachel supported me when doctors were being pushy and I was so hormonal I couldn't be my normal assertive self. She knew what I wanted and helped get that across to the medics. She gave us lots of really helpful advice and pointed me in the right direction for further reading so that I could make my own informed decisions, which she would then support without being pushy or dictatorial.
I had really wanted a natural waterbirth at home and was keen to avoid the slippery slope of medical intervention as it so often leads to caesarean. Ironically that's exactly what happened and I ended up having a caesarean under general anaesthetic. Thankfully I don't feel in any way that I failed and I can only attribute that to Rachel's positive input in what was potentially a very scary situation. Rachel also gave Neil the confidence to be present during my labour; something that I never thought would happen. She also supported and encouraged him to give Ivor skin-to-skin contact whilst I was still under anaesthetic, this would never have happened without her. This even led to Neil naming Ivor (he was going to be called Shay).
Postnatally Rachel was invaluable. She helped me with breastfeeding, cooking, chores and took Ivor and the yapping dogs out for walks so I could grab some precious sleep. Without Rachel I don't doubt I would have slipped into depression. Primarily I would have felt that I had failed in labour. I would also have probably given up breastfeeding as my latch was awful and I was getting a lot of pain because of my Raynaud's ( spasming blood vessels), and if I had continued feeding like that Ivor would probably still be screaming with trapped wind due to inappropriate advice I had been given at the hospital (a midwife had told me that breastfed babies don't need winding...major major myth). Fortunately Rachel was there with time and patience to teach, to listen and to care.
I always felt I had someone who I trusted to turn to for advice. Rachel has been a tremendous support and a great friend. I am sure the fact that I am less stressed has had a great impact on Ivor. He is a really happy chap, feeds and sleeps really well and is the best thing that's ever happened to us. I can't thank Rachel enough.