Lucy from Ilkley, First time mum to Eve born August 2008

I hadn't heard of a doula until a few weeks before I called Rachel / (MNDs), and although I knew my husband and I wanted some sort of support and help both antenatal, during labour and postnatally I was uncertain how they could help as we didn't know ourselves what we needed.

Thankfully Rachel intuitively seemed to know what we needed, and provided the perfect level of support. She neither interfered, nor left us to flounder. She taught us so much, but never lectured us or tried to persuade us to make a particular choice. Armed with her knowledge and support we made choices we might never have made before, and wouldn't change any of them for the world.

Rachel was there when we needed her. She supported us all throughout the birth, enabling us to concentrate and achieve the perfect birth that we had wanted, yet disappeared quietly afterwards to give our newly extended family time to be together. She lifted me when I was in tears and believed I'd never breastfeed, and arrived day after day to support me in everyday chores which had suddenly become impossible with a new baby.

It was the little things too, I will always remember her coming round the day after I arrived home with my baby. I saw her walk down the hall carrying a cake. Great, I thought, this is what Doulas do then, bake cakes... how does that help me? Over the next few days that small gesture became huge as more and more visitors came round and instead of facing an empty cupboard I could tell them to help themselves to a slice of cake. And it went down well!

The phrase "couldn't have done it without you" is rather overused, but with regard to our baby's birth and using a Doula I mean it in it's true sense.

 

 

 

Bron from Leeds, first time mum to Jude born January 2009

As soon as I met my Doula Emma Tomlinson after finding out I was pregnant with my first child, I knew she was right for us. I had a lot of concerns about my privacy and dignity and Emma struck me immediately as an unobtrusive, gentle, respectful person. She was incredibly thoughtful from day one and brought me little cut outs from magazines or lent me books to help strengthen my confidence in my choice of birth and after. She also brought me her homemade banana cake, which won my husband Mark over quickly too!

Having a Doula was something new to us, none of our friends had heard of a Doula, we had first been strongly recommended by my cousin in Canada who swore by the loving support of a Doula and what a difference it made to her.
Emma came out of choice to lots of my midwife meetings and we got really close, talking about everything and anything!

By the time of my birth I text Emma shortly after my waters broke, I told her I was ok and she didn't need to come out yet, but she wanted me to know she would be there in minutes as soon as I wanted her there. My husband and I had a pretty good day! We walked the dog and watched a DVD with me balanced on my birthing ball, we used hypno birthing so the whole experience was very relaxed and calm. We called Emma to come when I experienced transition. Me, Mark, Emma and my midwife, Katie, all sat in the downstairs lounge-me in the pool, fairy lights round the windows, candles lit and Ray LaMontagne playing in between the hypno birthing cd! Our little black lab Indie wasn't too sure about the whole thing and Emma played with her, topped up my birthing pool, stroked my hair when Mark popped to the loo, brought drinks, and just generally supported us. As I knew her so well and felt so comfortable I didn't feel I needed to make a fuss when she arrived, she knew where everything was and looked after herself….and us!

After an active labour of 3 _ hours Jude was born at 6.55pm in perfect peace, in water, in a cosy dimly lit room in our home with two fabulous women, my incredible supportive wonderful husband! No fuss, just a great deal of love and support. Emma bought me lots of chocolate biscuits and jam and toast to get my energy back! She and Katie helped to tidy the room and helped the three of us into bed, to order pizza and call the world with the news of our new baby boy!
I put my simple manageable labour and my amazing day down to being given the confidence in myself that I could do it.
Emma's support continued afterwards with a beautiful gift to Jude, we talked through the labour and she made me feel very special and proud! We are still friends now and I often call her for advice or to talk through any worries I have.
 
Any woman who chooses the route of a Doula is already giving an incredible gift to women in pregnancy, labour and after, they are like guardian angels, giving you support, quietly working in the background, wonderfully, selfless guardian angels, giving your partner and yourself, the space you need, or if alone the unwavering support of a birthing partner.

 

 

Sally from Eastburn, first time mum to Louis September 2009

I have several close friends who have had traumatic births. I was repeatedly told that you lose all dignity and that your birth plan goes out of the window. Whenever someone asked me about the birth during my pregnancy I always replied I've got to believe that I can do it, I'm ready for the challenge, although inside I was terrified. At about 20 weeks I decided to have a home birth, we were recommended Rachel Cline from an independent midwife and hoped that she would communicate our wishes to the NHS midwife attending our birth. Rachel helped facilitate an amazing birth experience. My birth plan was followed to the letter and rather than loosing dignity, Louis' birth was the most empowering experience of my life, this is in no small part due to Rachel's tenacity and guidance.

The Journey

During the antenatal care Rachel provided us with information through books, CDs and DVDs that helped us prepare for the birth experience we wanted. We felt better informed and able to make decisions about our birth plan with confidence. As the due date came and went, Rachel helped to support me resist increasing pressure by the NHS to book an induction by attending a consultant appointment and providing a sympathetic ear. I went into labour naturally in week 41 after transferring care to an independent midwife and the day after an acupuncture session given by Rachel (which hurt!). I gave birth after a four and a half hour labour, without gas and air or drugs (with the exception of 4 paracetamol). Louis was born at home in a birthing pool whilst I listened to hypnotherapy CD's (both of which were recommended by Rachel), weighing a very healthy 9lb 10! During the labour she was invaluable in helping assist with getting water, opening windows, finding buckets etc, all of which left my husband free to concentrate on me. After the birth my husband was speechless when he went downstairs to find that Rachel had cleaned out and deflated the birthing pool, tidied up and put two loads of washing on enabling us to spend our first few precious hours as a family together. During our post natal meeting Rachel again had very useful and practical suggestions - from which baby carriers might suit our needs to how to record more efficiently information about when Louis was feeding and sleeping. It has been such an amazing journey and one which we are pleased to have shared with Rachel. We feel that this birth has given Louis the best possible start in life and are grateful for all her help, support and encouragement (and chilli con carne and plum crumble!). Thank you.  

 

John Parkin - my birth experience! 

As soon as Sally became pregnant we immediately accepted that hospital was where we were going to have the baby. Even after my previous experience of a hospital birth which was over managed with very little personal contact and considerable medical intervention this seemed like the only option. My wife then started to research home births and I was immediately sold on the idea, I knew there had to be a better way, after all women have been giving birth naturally for a long time!

Our midwife in the NHS was not particularly supportive of the idea and it seemed like an exercise in risk management instead of the natural experience we wanted so we investigated employing a Doula. This seemed like a valuable investment in our birth experience as not only would we gain antenatal sessions, more importantly we would have an ally and consistent friendly face at the birth who knew what we wanted and would be able to provide an ear for either Sally or myself if we had any concerns . My experience of hospital births was one of staff changes and people coming in and out who I did not know and who did not know me.

During the last week of pregnancy we transferred our care to an independent  midwife, this was the outcome from a series of consultant meetings that Sally attended at times when I could not be there. Rachel attended with Sally and supported her during this time for which we were very thankful and  during the birth Rachel was invaluable in providing support for both Sally and myself. The birth progressed well at home and Rachel advised on the phone and used effective visualisation techniques with Sally to manage the pain. But the help provided was not just for the birth, Rachel emptied and packed up the birthing pool, put two loads of washing in, made tea and generally opened and closed windows, answered the door and a host of other jobs that meant I was able to focus totally on Sally and the birth.

One of the benefits of having a home birth was that after the birth we moved upstairs and spent our first night as a three together in our own bed, with no concerns about visiting hours or waiting to be fed or discharged. Both Sally and I felt at complete ease in our own surroundings and entirely comfortable which meant we could focus totally on the one thing that was new.

Two days after the birth Rachel came round with tea made for us in containers and advised on carriers that we were looking at and a range of other issues. Whenever we had a question Rachel knew where we could find the answer and my memories of the birth are of an amazing experience that I wish all people could have the chance to have. The birth went like a dream and this was in no small part to the support received from Rachel who was always available either in person or at the end of the phone, thank you.

Louis was born in water, 9 lb 10, after a short labour using a birthing pool and no pain relief.

 

 

Johanna from Silsden, first time mum to Ioan born September 2009

Adam and I feel very lucky to have had such a brilliant natural birth experience. We are so grateful to Emma for being part of the best birth experience we could have hoped for. There was no drama or difficult scenes. It was simply relaxed, steady, natural and positive, which is all we wanted and has served as a fantastic foundation for the exhausting, rewarding job of being parents.

Emma's help and support have been invaluable and we wouldn't hesitate to ask for her again and have already recommended her to others. Emma has been particularly astute to how mother's feelings regarding feeding and routines for example, may change dramatically once the baby arrives. She never forced an opinion on us but gently guided and encouraged us to find our own way and trust our instincts.

 

 

Selina from Hebden Bridge, mum to Eli two and a half and Monty born July 2009

Selina was supported at home, by Emma, for the birth of her second son following a traumatic first hospital birth.  She birthed her son in a birthing pool at home in July 2009.

 

Julia from Bingley, mum to Evie two and a half and Jasmine, born July 2009

Julia, one of the Mother Nurture Doulas, birthed her second daughter at home in water in July 2009 with the support of an independent midwife and Emma.  Following her first hospital birth which was a c-section for an undiagnosised breech presentation she found wonderful inner strength and had a wonderful VBAC.

 

 

Chris from Leeds, Dad to Billy 16 months and Eloise born November 2009

I just wanted to say thank you for all your help before and after the birth of our beautiful daughter and we are really glad that you were able to be at the birth's of both of our children.

We would not hesitate in recommending you to anyone considering having a doula. You have demonstrated to us that your knowledge and support are invaluable to anyone who is having a baby.

I am so glad that Alex finally got the birth she has always wanted and I am in no doubt that you played a crucial role in that. Eloise's homebirth was amazing and has totally changed my mind regarding where I would now consider the best place for a woman to give birth, as long as there are no complications to consider. In fact I would say I am a real advocate of the home birth which couldn't have been further from the truth 6 months ago.

Thank you once again for all your guidence.

 

 

Amanda from Halifax, mum to Jacob age 14 and Hanson born November 2009

Amanda had her second son at home in water with the support of Emma and NHS midwives in November 2009.

 

 

Emma from Bradford, mum to Ellis 3 and second time mum to Rosie, born June 2010 

Rachel acted as my doula for the birth of my second child, Rosie. It felt very natural to ask Rachel to be there for us, as not only is she a fantastically knowledgeable and experienced doula, she is also a very close friend.
 
Rachel never ceases to amaze me with her energy, thoughtfulness, and genuinely caring nature. When I was 34 weeks pregnant she organised a surprise "Blessingway" for me to celebrate the imminent arrival of Rosie and to give me courage and support from a group of my good friends. She gave me fabulous books about home birth and water birth to read with my 3 year old son, Ellis, to help prepare him for the arrival of his sister at home. Rachel was very positive about my son being with us but also happy to take him out if things got too much for him.
 
I was in established labour when Rachel and the midwives arrived. It was clear that I was Rachel's priority throughout. She was very aware of what I might be needing at certain points and what words would calm and encourage me. Without Rachel's reassurance I think I would have felt concerned about the speed of the labour and whether my body could cope.
 
Having my baby at home with my partner, friend and two great NHS midwives present was perfect. (Ellis was out with his Grandparents in the end). Rachel continued to look out for us after the birth, bringing food and taking Ellis out to play with her children so we could rest. I can't speak highly enough of Rachel as a doula or as a friend!

 

 

Janine from Bingley, mum to Jude 3 and second time mum to Nieve, born August 2010

 

My first child Jude was born by emergency c-section at Airedale Hospital on 5th April 2007, I had asked for a homebirth but had been advised against it at my booking apponitment by my midwife, her reasoning being first births are difficult and I would get no priority treatment from the ambulance service. I was very disappointed by this as I wanted to be like my Mum who had all her three children at home. After discussing the midwife's advice with my husband Dan we booked the hospital birth trusting the Midwife's advice. 

After feeling denied the homebirth I'd always visualised with Jude I was determined my next birth would be natural and at home. I prepared as much as I could for the birth but having a toddler and working part-time made it tricky. I went to pregnancy yoga and Choices meetings which were so valuble in giving me information and confidence. And I'm lucky enough to have a great group of friends who have had homebirths and they also played a part in giving confidence and encouragement.  

A few of my friends had trained as doulas after their 1st birth experiences and had made me aware of the benefits a doula can bring to a birth. At first I had decided to have my Mum acting as my doula at the birth along side my husband and the midwife, after all she had done it three times who better? But then as I learned more about the birth process I felt I needed my Mum and a doula there. Both for support but I felt a doula could help me make decisions if there were any difficulties and my Mum may find it hard to see me distressed, which afterwards she did say she had found it difficult to listen to me. About a month before the birth I asked a friend Rachel a trained doula to be with me at the birth, she had a back up partner Hannah who also ran a homebirth group which I went to and met her. I felt happy with my doulas knowing they would be there just to support me and my choices as we had discussed in our anti-natel meetings.

  
In the last couple of months leading upto the birth I started to refuse tests mainly blood as I felt they were stressing me out and I felt is was important to relax also I felt really healthy and had no major medical issues. I did have strep B present in my urine but after some reading I didn't feel concerned but my midwife did and said a hospital birth was needed, I disagreed and pushed forward with the homebirth. 

On Sunday 22nd August 2010 after a relaxing day at my Mum's house eating a massive Sunday lunch Dan said I hope the baby comes tonight then I won't have to go to work tomorrow! That night I somehow felt ready even though I had been trying to hang on until Rachel got back from a trip to Wales! I wanted to birth this baby at night in the dark and the quiet.

At 11.20pm my waters started to trickle a little and I had a tiny bit of a show. I went to the toilet a few times and told Dan I thought this was the early signs but decided to try and get some sleep. I texted Rachel but she was still in Wales so I texted Hannah and told her what was happening. I rung Mum and warned her I might be starting. Jude woke up and jumped into our bed after a cuddle he went to sleep, I tried to lay down next to him but found it uncomfortable to lie down. I looked at Dan and said I think this is it! We both laughed and felt excited then surges started to overcome me and Dan sprung into action getting the pool ready. When a surge came I couldn't talk so when it died down I called Mum and Hannah and asked them to come over. I asked Hannah when should I get in the pool and she said when you feel like it. As soon as the pool was half full I got in, I think this was about 1pm. The water felt lovely and I enjoyed the feel of the pool filling up. I wanted my hypnobirthing c.d on to get my mind and body ready for birthing. I fully absorbed my concentration into the c.d and self talked myself into relaxing into the contractions which were now starting to build up. I was in my birthing zone and felt good about my progression. I got in a position that felt good, on my knees with arms hanging over the side of the pool and head resting on a towel on the side. I hardly responded to Mum arriving as I was in the middle of a contraction, she could hear me in the living room and just left me to it and stayed in the kitchen as we discussed. Her main role was to look after Jude. At about 2.30am Hannah arrived and at this stage the contractions were coming faster and there wasn't much time imbetween to talk. Hannah gave me various remedies but I felt really nausious and could only accept them once a surge had ended. Hannah asked if I wanted a midwife and at that point I really couldn't think if I did or not, it didn't seem important I said " I don't know ". Then after a few more contractions I said yes ring the midwife and make sure she brings the drugs for exshuastion as I didn't want to transfer to hospital just to have sleep, as I could do that at home.

I did keep trying to move my position to help baby on it's way but every time I tried it felt wrong so stayed as I was the whole time! Around this point it was vital for me to be holding Dan's hands, I couldn't let go and was annoyed if he went off to the toilet! I felt we were in it together and Hannah quietly watched over us. Also at about this stage I couldn't hear the words of the c.d anymore it was just background noise. I heard the midwives arrive and was glad when they were hearded into the kitchen, I think things slowed down at that point and I think I fell asleep for a little bit and remember waking up and feeling cold. Hannah topped up the pool and it was nice for my body to feel warm but my face was hot and I had a desk fan blowing on me. I felt dehydrayted and hot so i requested some ice cubes and chompped my way through three trays! I told Hannah I didn't want any monitoring as I felt things were going great and I was coping well. The midwife came into the room to confirm this and I told her I was fine. Hannah offered me chocolate to give me a boost and I tried to eat it knowing I was feeling tired but I still felt so sick and had to spit it out, in the end I managed some orange juice. The water at this point was quite bloody but I felt fine and didn't feel is was an issue.

I was aware the sun was rising and felt disappointed that baby still wasn't here after I had been working so hard, I had kept my eyes closed most of the time not wanting to see the clock or the dawn but I couldn't help but see it was 6am! But I started to feel the head and that spurred me on I knew it wouldn't be much longer as I wanted Jude to wake up to meeting his new sibling. I had always thought a slow birth would be best giving the body time to open but after the head had come down and gone back up a few times I changed my mind I wanted that head out! I hadn't really pushed I had just let my body do it's thing and most of it felt involuntary. The stinging burn I felt wasn't that bad really but after a few times I thought I need to work this baby out and waited till the middle of a surge and pushed down and I could feel progress, a few more like that and I knew the head would be out. An arm came out with the head and I could feel it banging on my leg which was wierd but good as it meant progress! For about the last two hours my noises had increased in volume and I was roaring like a lion and it felt good to make noise! At this final stage the 3 midwives had crept into the room and started asking me for a mirror which I found really annoying as I was a bit busy! I could also hear Jude and my Mum in the kitchen and Jude desperately wanted to come in the room and I would of liked him to of been there but found I needed to really concentrate on those last few pushes. As soon as I felt the baby slide out into the water I felt stunned and couldn't move and all the midwives were saying " pick your baby up Janine" and I thought gosh yeah I need to pick up my baby! As I lifted the baby out of the red water I felt elated and shouted for Mum and Jude to come in the room. I felt overwhelmed by the sense of acheivement and was shocked to see it was a girl as I had visualised Jude having a brother! I talked to my baby and asked her to breath and the midwives were telling me to rub her chest. She was grey and still but I felt calm and just waited patiently for her to breath which she did after a few moments. I put baby straight to my breast and she suckled straight away. I felt quite weak holding her and asked Dan to get in the pool to support me. Jude's face was so lit up by seeing his sister, after talking, reading, watching about the birth she was finally here. He was so full of excitement as he stripped off and jumped into the pool to cuddle the baby.

After a while the cord stopped pulsing and Dan cut it. Mum and the midwives took the baby and dressed her in Jude's old baby clothes. Mum and Jude sat cuddling the baby while I tried to deliver my placenta. I felt so exhausted and my limbs ached and were stiff from being in one position for too long. I asked Hannah about having the injection to deliver it and she pointed out how well I had done naturally so far and I thought yes I've come this far just a little further. I needed that reminder and support as exhaustion was clouding my thoughts. I couldn't feel my contractions anymore so I tried to concentrate and push down to deliver the placenta. I couldn't do it while the 3 midwives were stood watching me so I asked them to leave. Mum had taken Jude and baby into the kitchen so I could focus again. I got out of the pool and half an hour later delivered the placenta. I got dressed and lay on the sofa with Nieve and she suckled quite happily for about an hour while the clean up operation went on around us. The midwives left and after tea, toast and a chat Hannah went home. Mum looked after us for a while and then went home too, what a team! Dan, Jude and I just looked at the baby together for ages and fell in love with her! I always felt so positive and determined about this birth and had a quiet underlying confidence that everything would go well and it did.

 

MJ from Canada, via York, first time mum to Ryden born December 2010

 

Lucy from Ilkley, mum to Eve 3 and Sylvie born January 2011 

 

Barbara from Bradford, mum to Charlie 3 and Nina born March 2011

I adore my Son but his birth was far from perfect. To cut a long story short: my labour was labelled ‘failure to progress’, I was induced, had an episiotomy and a ventouse. My darling boy was so sleepy after birth that I found it difficult to establish breastfeeding (he also had a tongue tie that wasn’t diagnosed until too late but that’s a different story) and ended up giving him formula. This was nothing like the natural water birth followed by exclusive breastfeeding for at least a year that I had pictured at the start of the journey.

When I found I was pregnant again I was determined that this would be different. I called Rachel from Mother Nurture Doulas and the family met her at a cafe to see whether we ‘clicked’ or not. Rachel encouraged us to meet other doulas to make sure that we had made the correct choice for us but I didn’t need to. Rachel had a determinism and strength that I knew I would want in the birth room with me. 

During my pregnancy Rachel lent us many books and DVDs and helped guide my husband and I into making all of the choices that would go into to our birth plan. We decided on a water birth, at home, using natal hypnotherapy and possibly entonox if needed. My cheeky little Nina decided to turn Breech at 30 weeks for a period of 6 weeks where I thought that my non interventionist birth was looking like a dream but she turned just one week before I went into labour at 37 weeks. 

I know the details of what happened next because Rachel has since filled me in but I can honestly say that I can only remember what happened through a series of snapshots. I remember feeling lonely because my husband was busy filling up the pool at which point Rachel came over to keep me company even though it was only very early in the labour process. I remember going for a walk with Rachel to get things going. I know that my labour went away almost completely for about 21 hours even though I had been having contractions which were 2 to 3 minutes apart. This was the same thing that had happened during my son’s birth and this had resulted in a cascade of intervention in hospital. My strongest memories of the whole experience are two: sitting in the middle of my living room floor in a birthing pool, deep in labour la la land enjoying the waves of Oxytocin and Endorphins that were making labour not only bearable but enjoyable; and bringing my beautiful daughter up to the surface of the water and meeting her for the first time.

So, I’ve had two labours with identical paths in the beginning with a noticeable fork in the road where they differ. The catalyst for this was the decision we made to hire Rachel as our Doula. It was Rachel who supported me into believing that it was possible, educated us by loaning us appropriate materials for our goal and she was my strength in the room when my husband was needed to look after our first born. She spoke to midwifes and communicated my wishes as I was struck dumb by the labour process. I got exactly the birth I wanted, my baby wasn’t born sleepy from all the drugs, and despite her tiny size (4 pounds 14oz) and her tongue tie she is an exclusively breast fed baby. Post-natally Rachel again pointed us in the right direction to ensure we received the proper guidance to enable this to happen.

Since our first contact with Rachel I have experienced a water birth, what Oxytocin and Endorphins actually do for you in labour (I didn’t receive the benefit of these with my first) and what it is like to exclusively breastfeed and mother through breastfeeding. Rachel has been an invaluable source of support and advice.

Thank you

 

Anna from Harrogate, first time mum to Isobel born June 2011